


Five Ways to Know When You Hit Rock Bottom

by writing2death



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-04-17
Updated: 2017-07-20
Packaged: 2018-12-04 21:57:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11564148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writing2death/pseuds/writing2death
Summary: In which Merlin writes listicles (lists as articles) to help people and has a bad luck aura, Arthur is secretly pining for him, Gwen and Lance are sickeningly sweet, Morgana is a tyrant of an editor and a little full of herself, Leon attempts to go with the flow, and there are a whole lot of really terrible pick up lines.





	1. Five Ways to Know When You've Hit Rock Bottom

**Author's Note:**

> Finally getting around to posting some of my old fics to AO3.  
> Originally posted [here](http://writing2death.livejournal.com/4055.html) on LJ in 2010.

The Top five Ways to Know When You’ve Hit Rock Bottom  
By Merlin Emrys

**5\. Even getting out of bed, you know this day can’t bring anything good to the table.**

 

“You’re a jerk.”

This was probably a normal sentence most of the time but right now it was being uttered in a tired, slurred voice at an alarm clock that needed to be upgraded with a hammer. It made an annoying sort of sound, the kind that woke the dead from six feet under and routinely punctured innocent eardrums.

Merlin managed to extend his arm far enough to slap the offending clock. Possibly, it could have been more satisfying to beat it into submission but he wasn’t sure if he could even lift his head high enough off the pillow to manage it. 

Oh God, he was dying!

Merlin struggled to roll over onto his stomach, upending the two or three heavy textbooks that were littered on top of him. He also noticed that there were pencils, pens, an open pink highlighter, and his calculator squashed into his cheek. Great – now he had a permanent pink stain on his pillowcase.

 

His alarm clock was glaring at him in red, glowing numbers. It was apparently eight-thirty in the morning. He blinked owlishly at it, trying to bully his foggy brain into listening to him. Why was that important? Merlin forced himself to sit up, shuffling the stupid Chemistry texts away from him.

And then he froze.

Oh, no. Oh no! 

Why was it always him?

Okay, so he had half an hour to get from his house to his chemistry exam worth twenty-eight percent of his grade.

He scrambled out of the tangle of blankets and limbs and threw on the first clothes he pulled from his closet, shoved everything in his bag, and brushed his teeth. Oh, please, God, he needed those marks. 

Only tripping over his stray Physics textbook he’d left in the middle of the living room floor a few nights ago once, he managed to stumble out the door with one very longing look back at his coffee machine.

\- 

Whoever decided Spring was a good season anyway?

Merlin decided he hated Spring when he fell running across the field trying to get to the Athletic Centre before nine. And now he had mud spattered all up his jeans. Lovely. Thanks.

He burst through the doors dramatically to find the foyer empty save for two or three students sitting against the wall with their calculators in hand. 

He had a small, very painful heart attack. Oh no, they’ve started all ready!

But then he noticed Gwen sitting in the corner with her text propped open in her lap, picking at a muffin and leisurely drinking coffee. … What?

He made his way over to her, lugging his sinfully heavy bag with him. Still out of breath, he panted, “Where is everyone?”

She looked up at him, taking in his appearance and raised her eyebrows, “Hello to you too, Merlin.”

“But, but, … the exam?” 

“Is at ten?” she asked.

“Really?”

But … no, that wasn’t right. He’d definitely checked the website last night. He was sure the Chemistry exam was at nine. “Are you sure? I thought Chem… the site said…”

Gwen frowned, “The Chemistry exam is at nine.”

“But you just said –“ Merlin’s brain felt a bit like mush at this point. He wished Gwen would make sense.

She sighed, patting his arm sympathetically, “Merlin, the Chem exam’s tomorrow. We have Physics today.”

Oh. Oh no. Why?!

And while he was busy having a small metal breakdown because he’d spent six hours the night previous going over enthalpy and reaction kinetics instead of torque and fluid dynamics, Gwen was staring at him.

“Did you know you have pink highlighter on your face?”

 

**4\. You are definitely convinced that even inanimate objects hate you.**

Merlin was having difficulty breathing and his head was throbbing. This (allergies and sinus headaches) was another thing about Spring that should DIE. 

It didn’t help that the kid next to him in the exam room (possibly named Owain? He was pretty sure the guy was in his psychology seminar)  
kept glaring at him every time he sniffled. Well, he was sorry but he couldn’t exactly help it.

When the invigilator came around to look at everyone’s student cards and make them sign the stupid card, Merlin discovered that his had somehow run away between the bus ride to the university this morning and now. Great. He had to dig to the bottom of his bag full of Chemistry stuff to find his driver’s license. Thankfully, and very disapprovingly, they took it.

It didn’t help matters that all three of his mechanical pencils broke. Simultaneously. As he clicked at one furiously (Gwen shot him a long-suffering look), trying to make it work, he seriously considered stabbing himself in the eye with it instead. Maybe then he’d go to the hospital and he could finish the exam later. 

He didn’t know any of the answers anyway.

\-- 

“Are you all right?” Gwen asked as they squeezed through the throng of people fighting to get out of the hall all at once. 

“I’m never all right,” was his answer.

She gave him a sympathetic look as he attempted to get through the gate thing that spun. His bag caught on it and was refusing to let go. He tugged and the strap came clean off just as the bottom seam split. His Chemistry texts went everywhere and his notes scattered. Also, he was pretty sure that cracking sound his calculator made when it hit the stone couldn’t be called healthy. And now people were trying to get past. One girl he remembered from his Biology tutorial, Vivian, looked at him like he was something ugly stuck to the bottom of her shoe.

Gwen was biting at her lip to keep from laughing. 

This was a very bad day.

 

**3\. You’ve started keeping a stack of napkins by you… just in case.**

Merlin was staring at himself in the mirror. Okay. Today couldn’t get worse because it all ready sucked. That’s was he told himself. 

He and his presentation team for Anthropology were meeting today to run through their final draft. He could (maybe?) get through (possibly?) this (… hopefully?) without any mishaps. And by mishaps he definitely meant that one time he accidently tripped during his part of the presentation, knocked into Arthur, who’d knocked into Lance, who’d knocked into Freya, who’d screamed so loudly that the professor lecturing in the next room actually came over just to check that no one had died. That … that had been bad.

Merlin had taken the liberty of bringing the group coffee this time. Midterms were always hell on everyone and if you stepped on someone’s last nerve, it might just be the last place you stepped. And so, being the lovely and nice person he was (not like Gwen, who laughed at other people and their misfortunes), he decided that making a coffee run was good for everyone. Also it was warm and sweet and he was hoping that coffee would make his throat stop hurting. And he felt a bit sleep deprived.

He made his way up to the third floor of the of the least used Arts building, feeling very proud of himself when he managed to make it all the way up there without spilling everything down his front. Smiling he made to open the door, balancing the coffee tray dangerously in one hand.

And he even managed to get into the room and close the door without spilling it! The day was looking up.

“It’s about time, Merlin!” Arthur said from the table, looking annoyed. He and Lance already had their notes laid out in front of them. Merlin smiled at him and Arthur stood up, wrenching the coffee from Merlin’s hand mumbling something that sounded like, “should never be allowed to hold things”. 

Freya had chosen that moment to enter the room, smiling shyly. The door swung open and Merlin wasn’t paying attention (and he often berated himself for this because, really how hard was it? His Uncle Gaius told him that if his head wasn’t screwed on, he’d forget where he left it. Merlin told his Uncle Gaius that he was cliché) and the door smacked him in the back.

Unfortunately, the only place for Merlin to go was forward.

Unfortunately, Arthur was still holding the tray of coffee.

Well, at least this time it hadn’t ended up on him.

 

**2\. Your boss is threatening to kill you if you don’t have your paper in on time.  
You know she isn’t kidding.**

“You really have no hand-eye coordination, do you?” Arthur asked exasperatedly.

This would have been a very nice response to someone spilling four coffees all over you but Arthur had only done it after yelling for ten minutes straight.

“But it wasn’t even my fault this time!” Merlin protested.

“That was my favourite shirt and I don’t even have another one with me.”

“Sorry.” 

There was an awkward silence as Arthur tried in vain to rub the coffee stain out of his white shirt. They were standing in the bathroom and Arthur had his shirt off and Merlin was trying very, very hard to keep his eyes where they were supposed to be.

“So,” Arthur began, “I was wondering –“

But he was cut off as the door opened.

“Merlin, so help me God, why aren’t you at the meeting?! Do you know how long it took me to track you down?”

Merlin turned nervously, wondering who told her where he was. He would almost bet his life it was Freya. Not because she thought it was funny but because she was so nice that it wouldn’t occur to her that the person she was talking to was possibly psychopathic. 

“Morgana, you do know this is the men’s bathroom, right?”

She waved it away like it wasn’t important, “Where’ve you been?”

“Um…”

Arthur interrupted, “Morgana, get out,”

She rolled her eyes, “Shut up, Arthur.”

Oh, my God, Merlin thought. Someone please put me out of my misery.

She completely ignored him and marched up to Merlin, straight in his face. Merlin thought that it might not have been entirely fitting of him to be completely intimidated by a woman who was shorter than him even with the three-inch heels she was wearing. “If I don’t see that Top Five list on my desk by the end of the day, you will wish that you never signed up to write it for The Camelot Star in the first place.” 

And then she walked out dramatically, heels clicking. The only thing Merlin could think was, no one reads that paper anyway.

\--

He scrambled into the office a half hour later (after managing to find some Tide-to-Go - and he was pretty sure there wasn't even enough of it to get the stain out - from some random student who may or may not have been named Sophia. Sophia scared the crap out of him. As soon as she heard it was for Arthur, she was ready to donate her own shirt. Merlin wasn’t convinced that this was an entirely appropriate gesture). 

“Do you have my list?” was the first thing Morgana asked, her head bent over the latest article she was going over.

“Not yet,” Merlin managed.

“Why are you hanging around my step-brother anyway?” Morgana asked sounding a tiny bit disgusted.

“Arthur’s your step-brother?”

“What, do you live under a rock?”

Gwen, sitting at the table enjoying a late lunch with a pen in her hand, laughed. Merlin thought the world was unfair.

 

**1\. When you’re even a little bit grateful for all the bad things that have happened  
** because in relation to the very bad things that have happened, they seem decent.  
And the very bad things that have happened, seem pleasant in comparison  
to the doom-ish things that have happened.  
In summary, your motto for life is “worse can happen”, and then it does. 

Basically, Merlin thought as he sat waiting for the bus in the rain (because it was always raining. Why did Spring even exist?), life sucked.

Usually, Merlin was pretty optimistic. He had to be because bad luck was something that followed him around like a flea-bitten puppy. It was kind of cute if he tilted his head and squinted - inevitably why he seemed to continuously do things that brought him more bad luck, he was sure.

He wasn’t finished the list Morgana wanted from him but he was pretty sure he knew the direction he was going to take with it: 

The Top Five Ways to Know When You’ve Hit Rock Bottom. Because he really, really had.

But, Merlin was optimistic. What he needed to do was go home, make sure Will hadn’t burnt the flat down, study for Chemistry for nine hours (again), and pray to anyone who would listen that he didn’t fail his Physics exam.

A car drove by, its tire catching on a particularly large puddle. Merlin wasn’t impressed by the wave of water that was dumped on him, making him wetter than he already was. 

“Thanks!” he called after it, raising a hand and knowing it was useless.

Another rolled up and he flinched, raising his arms to cover his face. After a minute when the splash didn’t come, he hesitantly lowered them, peaking out through the gaps in his fingers.

“Merlin, what are you doing?”

Arthur was parked on the curb of the road with his window rolled down, squinting into the rain with an exasperated expression on his face.

“I’m sunbathing.” Merlin said, deadpan.

Arthur rolled his eyes, “Get in, you idiot. I’ll drive you home. Though why you don’t have an umbrella when it’s clearly a crap day out is a mystery to me.”

Merlin almost refused on the grounds that Arthur was a prat but then he remembered that he was on time for the last bus … but it had driven right by him with the sign Sorry Bus Full highlighted. 

“But… I’m all wet.”

Arthur shrugged and when Merlin still didn’t move, he said, “Well, come on, I don’t have all day!”

Well, maybe today was looking up? (He was hesitant to say that since last time he’d jinxed the whole thing.) Merlin slid into the car, happy to feel the heat and leaving as much of the rain outside as he could.

This is what he remembered happening after that:

Some truly horrible music coming from the radio and wondering what the hell Arthur was listening to. Being offered some chocolate.

Merlin loved chocolate and so he accepted.

Well, that had been a bad idea.

\--

The Top Way to Make a Bad Day Good Again

Land yourself in a hospital and …  
Something about that doesn’t sound right… 

When Merlin woke up to the beeping of a heart monitor, he knew that his day could not possibly get any worse.

“Did you know,” a voice drawled next to him, “that you are an idiot?”

Merlin had meant to reply with something witty like, “I’m hearing that a lot lately” but it had come out more like, “huh?”

Arthur was sitting at his bedside, lounging back in a chair.

Oh, Merlin possibly remembered now. There as quite a bit of panicking (“What do you mean you can’t breathe?!”) and some really frantic searching through his bag to find his EpiPen – looking back, Merlin thought he probably lost it when his bag split coming out of the Physics exam.

“You scared me half to death!” Arthur said.

“Sorry,” Merlin said, bringing his hand to his head, trying to ward off another foggy headache.

“Well, you might’ve told me you were allergic to nuts! Then none of this would have ever happened.”

Merlin had an insane urge to stick his tongue out at Arthur childishly and tried to squish it, a small smile lifting the edges of his lips instead, “I didn’t know the chocolate would have nuts. Sorry.”

“Sorry?” Arthur repeated, “You almost died, you moron.”

This time he couldn’t squash the childish part of him. He stuck his tongue out and Arthur’s lips quirked upwards.

There was a pause and Merlin wondered if the hospital had called his mum who was listed as his emergency contact. Then he winced, wondering if Will was here – he never did very well in hospitals.

Instead of asking any of these questions, Merlin just sat up a bit more and smiled. “Thank-you for staying. You didn’t have to.”

Arthur looked as though he was trying to suppress embarrassment. “Someone had to make sure you survived. That or I needed to get Lance to help me hide your body and that would have taken so much more effort.”

Merlin laughed, “Haha, very funny.”

“So Gwen and Morgana are coming as soon as they can – or, anyway, Morgana says Gwen has a Stats exam tonight and so they might see you at home instead.” Arthur said, leaning forward so his chin rested in his hand.

Merlin groaned, “Was that really necessary? I’ll never be able to get them to leave and – oh my God, I have a Chemistry exam tomorrow!”

Arthur laughed, “Calm yourself. Do you want Nurse Collins to come back in here? She’s scary.”

“I’m sure,” Merlin responded dryly. “Do you want to write the Chem exam in my place? Because I could definitely take your section of Anthro…” He was joking… sort of.

“You’ll be fine.” Arthur said, his hand on the bed rail.

Okay. This was weird. This was… a conversation between him and Arthur that was… nice? Actually, Merlin thought, his brow furrowing, he’d been especially nice when he’d offered him a ride as well.

“What?” Arthur asked.

Merlin looked at him, “Why are you here?”

“I thought we already established that – you went into anaphylactic shock in my car!” Arthur said with heat.

Merlin nodded, “I know but, I mean –“

Arthur was definitely flushing this time, “Why won’t you ever come out for lunch with me?” he asked suddenly.

“What?”

It was true – Arthur had asked him every Monday (their Anthro presentation meeting day) to come out for lunch afterwards but he also asked Lance and Freya as well. “I always bring my lunch.” Merlin said blankly.

Arthur stared at him like he was stupid and then Merlin realised what they were talking about. 

He blushed red, feeling his face heat up, “But I thought you were just being nice! You asked everyone else too!”

Arthur passed a hand over his face muttering something that sounded like, “- the thickest –“ and then he sighed, “I only - only after I asked you!”

Merlin felt really, really stupid now. Also, this was possibly the most awkward conversation he’d ever had, even worse than that time Will – wait, what?

“You – you like me?” Merlin asked, his voice uncharacteristically small.

Arthur rolled his eyes and looked away, scoffing.

Then Merlin smiled widely, “Really?”

That wasn’t dignified with an answer – at least not a verbal one. In a swift movement, catching him a little off guard, Arthur slotted his mouth over Merlin’s. He gasped in surprise, his hands coming up to cup Arthur’s face.

They separated after a minute. “Does that answer your question?” Arthur answered smirking arrogantly.

“Oh, shut up, you prat,” Merlin said, pulling him in for another kiss.

Merlin thought that this day, a very, very bad day, had quite possibly turned into one of the best days. Had he totally and completely hit rock bottom? Yes. 

Nowhere to go but up.

(Or, he thought about half an hour later, when Will burst in on him and Arthur snogging, he could always start digging.)


	2. Five Easy Ways to Almost Kill Your Boyfriend

Five Easy Ways to Almost Kill Your Boyfriend  
By Merlin Emrys

**5\. Take him out for lunch.  
Don't forget your napkins.**

Arthur and Merlin's relationship began as a very tentative thing. Not because they were uncomfortable around each other – they'd never had that problem, not even when they first met at first year orientation and Merlin had called him a prat and Arthur (forcefully) told him that he couldn't talk to him like that. Not, it was tentative because Merlin was a walking talking death trap.

He constantly lost things, broke things, tripped over his own two feet, and his luck was so bad that it had an aura – seriously, people naturally avoided Merlin because they thought, no, not today. Today won't be the day I get run over by an overly skinny university student with big ears. How he managed to get all the friends he had, Arthur would never know. He did suspect, however, that it had something to do with his blinding smile overpowering the sinister aura of his luck.

Regardless, they took tentative steps toward a proper relationship.

"You want to take me to lunch?" Merlin repeated. "In a nice restaurant," he clarified again when Arthur nodded.

"Isn't that what I've been trying to ask you for a month now?" Arthur responded, frustrated.

"Well," and Merlin twisted his hands here, "couldn't this go very, very wrong?"

Arthur didn't understand but Arthur also never admitted that he didn't understand and so he said, "Shut up, Merlin. Just come on. Please?"

Apparently this had worked. Merlin bit his lip, looked down at his lunch bag (a picture of Spiderman on the front – my God, he was dating a ten-year-old) with a longing look before nodding. "Fine," he said, snatching his coat off the back of his chair, "But you're paying."

Arthur shrugged; he was going to anyway.

Merlin was fidgeting with his napkin. Arthur was fighting the impulse to reach across the table to grab his hand. "Why're you so nervous?"

"What?" Merlin asked distractedly. "I'm not? Now, what's for eating – I mean food – I mean lunch. What's for lunch?"

Arthur stared at him. "Are you all right?"

"Do you think any of the ingredients in Chicken Cordon Bleu have nuts?" Merlin asked.

Arthur tried not to remember that day, flinching. One minute they'd been eating chocolate and the next Merlin had been gasping for breath, wheezing out, "I can't breathe… EpiPen…"

Arthur had responded with, "What do you mean you can't breathe?"

The hospital was even worse. Hunith (who lived over two hours away) was Merlin's emergency contact and she'd very nearly had a heart attack right there on the phone. Arthur thought, yeah, that was great that she had an excuse to come and see Merlin but isn't it a bit soon to meet the parents?

And Will was an absolute nightmare. His protectiveness of Merlin seemed to extend way past what would be appropriate for friendship. It caused Arthur to wonder… but he wasn't jealous. Arthur didn't get jealous.

They ordered a moment later, which brought Arthur back to the present. Merlin was looking at the door with a pining expression on his face. 

"Perhaps you'd rather be on a date with the door?" he asked flatly.

Merlin looked at him, his eyes wide. "What?"

Arthur sighed.

It turned out Merlin was right. The fancy restaurant was a bad idea.

Poor Merlin was so nervous (it was either blame Merlin's nervousness or admit out loud that he was dating the world's biggest klutz. Arthur thought it was rather kinder to Merlin to just blame his nervousness) that he'd accidently upended the entire tray the waiter was carrying. Food went flying everywhere – on the floor, all over various tables, and, oh God, in the hair of Catrina, Arthur's father's ex-girlfriend. He winced, giving a little wave across tables.

Then he pulled Merlin off the waiter (named Pellinor, according to his nametag). He'd been trying to help him up but Pellinor was attempting to scramble backwards in an effort to put as much distance between himself and Merlin as possible.

Arthur paid quickly and they left as fast as possible, trying to avoid any further embarrassment.

"Okay?" Arthur asked as they got into his car.

"I told you this was a bad idea," Merlin answered sullenly.

And then Arthur understood. He also privately promised himself that he would find a way to make it up to Merlin. They'd go on the Best Date Ever. Ever.

-  
**4\. Take him out to a sports game – always a hit.  
Bonus: show as much public affection as possible.**

Arthur loved footie. He even played it as much as possible – when his business courses weren't sucking the soul out of him that was. So, he was completely happy when Merlin asked him to go to a match.

"Morgana wants me to cover it for the Camelot Star," he'd said with a wrinkled nose. This was Arthur's chance for the perfect date.

It was raining and muddy out and so when he and Merlin met after their last classes on Friday, he was greeted with the sight of Merlin in a bright yellow rain coat. His lips twitched into a smile.

"Aren't you a bit overdressed?" he asked, grabbing Merlin's hand and twining their fingers together.

Merlin glanced down at their hands, momentarily struck dumb. Then he seemed to actually hear what Arthur was saying. "It's raining out there!" he protested.

Arthur was just wondering if Merlin would have worn rain boots too, if he had the chance when Merlin said, "I wish I'd brought my rain boots."

"The fact that you have rain boots scares me." Arthur said.

But Merlin just shrugged. They squelched through the mud unhappily, meeting up with Guinevere somewhere between the stands and the University Centre, where Merlin and Arthur had met up.

"Merlin, is that you?" she asked, squinting through the rain and taking in his very yellow clothing.

"Yes," he replied indignantly. "Why?"

"… You don't usually come to the footie games. … Nice coat."

"Thanks."

The sarcasm had gone straight over his head.

"Hello, Arthur," Gwen said fondly. "How're you?"

"Good," he said, smiling. Then he smirked a bit. "Lance has been asking about you," he said casually.

Gwen blushed noticeably. "Yeah?" she said. Arthur nodded and Gwen suddenly found the ground very interesting, her lips upturned in a smile.

"I could set you up, if you wanted?" Arthur offered. Honestly, Guinevere and Lance had exchanged about ten words and now Lance wouldn't shut up about it. From what he gathered between Merlin and Morgana, Gwen was in a similar situation. This would help all, he was sure.

Merlin rolled his eyes at the conversation and they squeezed into the stands as best they could and as close to the front as they could. He was looking very resigned. Arthur thought no one should look like that when they were thinking about football. "You… don't really like this stuff, do you?" he asked.

Merlin's eyes were on the field. "Not really. It's just a bit … boring, isn't it? And it's raining!"

Arthur frowned – Merlin was supposed to enjoy himself. So he pulled him closer, kissing him quickly and smiling at him, "Cheer up, yeah?" Merlin blushed (and Arthur secretly enjoyed that quite a bit), pushing him away slightly, muttering something about PDA. But he was smiling, which was what really counted.

He thought later, when they were back at the hospital with Merlin's nose gushing blood, that maybe he should have taken Merlin's evil aura of luck into account when picking the Best Date Ever because, while it apparently repelled people, it attracted footballs.

-  
**3\. Double Date: verb, the act of going out with two or more couples accompanying you.  
It'll be sure to take the pressure off.**

"How's your nose?" Arthur asked, wincing at the very noticeable black eyes adorning Merlin's face.

"Broken," Merlin said, his voice slightly pinched, "and painful."

The one thing Arthur noticed about Merlin since they began dating was that Merlin was clingy when was having a bad day (at least 80% of his days were bad, according to him) and he liked to snuggle. Arthur tolerated this. Because Arthur didn't like to snuggle – it just wasn't manly. Unfortunately, every time Merlin went to bury his face in Arthur's shoulder he found it rather painful. So, dissatisfied, he flopped onto the couch in Arthur's flat that he shared with Lance. "I dislike my life."

Arthur dropped into a nearby chair. "Don't worry," he said, "You're still cute."

The glare that Merlin gave him with his nose all swollen and dark bruises circling his eyes and extending down his sharp cheekbones was not threatening.

"So…" Arthur began, smiling, "how do you feel about double dating, then?"

Merlin sighed in a suffering way. "With who?" he asked. "And when, seeing as I look like the Monster from Frankenstein right now."

"Wasn't Frankenstein the monster?" Arthur asked and when Merlin rolled his eyes, he realized he was a bit off topic. "With Guinevere and Lance… like, next week. We worked it out when you were being examined."

"I'm so glad that my injury was convenient for you all. Go get me ice."

Normally, Arthur would have said "Get off your lazy arse and get it yourself" but since Merlin was injured and Arthur was clearly the Best Boyfriend Ever, he got up to get the ice, wrapped it in a clean dish cloth, and handed it to him.

"Thanks," Merlin said, very clearly breathing through his mouth. "Do you have paracetamol?"

"You know," Arthur said in a anguished tone, "Your nose doesn't impair your ability to walk. It is not, in fact, attached to your feet."

Merlin made some noise that didn't translate to English and Arthur sighed again. "Is that a yes or no to the date?" he called back. "It'll only take, like, three days for the swelling to go down, won't it?"

Merlin was sarcastic, "Oh yes, only three days."

-

Merlin's face still hurt when Arthur picked him up, Arthur could tell. The bruising took a while to go away and in the last week and a bit it'd faded to a sickly yellow-green colour. The swelling had gone down, which was nice, though.

"Where're we going?"

Arthur smiled in what he hoped was a very charming way, "The carnival?"

Merlin deadpanned, "Did we learning nothing from the restaurant fiasco?"

"That you should be more careful?" Arthur asked sarcastically, stepping into Merlin's flat momentarily as Merlin pulled his jacket on. Will was sitting in front of the TV with his laptop on the coffee table, glaring in Arthur's general direction. If Arthur had wanted to bait him, he would have said something along the lines of "Can I help you?" in a really annoying, mocking tone but no matter that he told everyone that Merlin hit like a girl, he still had a bruise from two weeks ago on his shoulder from when he said something very offensive that he wished he could take back. He decided to keep his mouth shut if he wanted this date to be the Best Date Ever. And he did, obviously.

Gwen and Lance met up with them near the spinning strawberries. Merlin, who had just been mumbling about how it was nice that it was dark enough that no one would see how he looked like he'd been beat up, smiled very widely at them.

Arthur muttered something along the lines of, "Oh, you do not." He was ignored.

"So what should we do first?" Gwen asked excitedly, looking at Lance with a love-struck face. Arthur hoped to all that was holy he'd never worn that face. Ever. If he had, it would have been directed at Merlin, who would have surely been mocking him in his head.

Merlin looked at the rides warily and then at the games with what bordered on fright. "Um… how about cotton candy?" he asked hopefully.

Lance shrugged, grabbing Gwen's hand and pulling her close to him. Arthur and Merlin exchanged wary looks. This was going to end up being an uncomfortable night, wasn't it?

"So," Gwen asked, shoving a piece of blue cotton candy in her mouth so that her tongue was stained, "did you ever find your student ID?"

Merlin wrinkled his nose and then made a painful face because, right, it was still technically broken. Arthur looked at him as Merlin violently ripped at his candy. "No," he said bitterly. "I need to get around to getting a new one. I hate using my driver's license during exams."

Arthur couldn't help himself; he snorted. "You have your driver's license?"

Merlin glared at him and Gwen's eyes lit up as she fed a piece of the sticky sweet candy to Lance. And ew, Arthur definitely didn't need to see that. It was like he was being force-fed cotton candy – and he didn't even like it! Gwen and Lance's soon-to-be relationship was like a cavity in pill form. Arthur shuddered.

"Oh, it's a good story," Gwen went on, not noticing, and Lance was just staring at her a little gooey-eyed. "He had to take the test three times before he could pass. One of the examiners was… in shock after the first time."

Merlin moaned in embarrassment, burying his face in his arms. Arthur thought he might have heard an "ouch".

"-Because he may have crashed the car into a tree."

"I was nervous," Merlin said heatedly, his blush visible through the yellow-green discolouration (Lance had said earlier, "Wow, this lighting is really bad for that bruising. It looks like someone painted your face." And Merlin had turned to Arthur and said, "You're a filthy liar."). "You would be too if your examiner was Nimueh – she's like the epitome of creepy!"

"Yes," Gwen said, smiling sweetly because though she was mean and liked to embarrass her friends to an insane degree, she was genuinely the nicest person. Merlin had told Arthur once that he'd never been angry at Gwen just because the crushed look on her face would make him feel like a horrible person. "But that doesn't explain the other two times."

-

The rest of the date actually went all right and Arthur congratulated himself. Merlin was smiling and happy and laughing and for once not being a nervous wreck. Arthur even convinced him to go on the spinning strawberries and Merlin hadn't thrown up like he said he would. They had drawn a line at the bumper cars, though. "Uh, just… no," Merlin had said, gesturing to his face. "If I could go, like, a week without injuring myself or others that would be great." Lance and Gwen were still sickeningly sweet but, if they turned their head in the other direction, they barely noticed.

Then – then there was this. This being the horror that was the Ferris Wheel. Now, Arthur was a very brave person and he didn't get scared so when Merlin, smiling blindingly (which already had Arthur disarmed), grabbed his wrist and pointed at the Ferris Wheel, because they "just have to go on it, Arthur, please" and pouted in his Merlin way, Arthur found himself unable to say no.

The line moved agonizingly slow and Arthur was having issues keeping up with the conversation because had the Ferris Wheel always been so high up?

Gwen was just saying, "I wish Morgana could have come."

"But Morgana isn't dating anyone," Arthur pointed out, attempting to keep a level head. But he wasn't afraid.

Gwen looked at him wide-eyed. "Yes she is," she said and then covered her mouth. "I mean – Leon is a very nice guy, I'm sure he'll treat her nicely. It's just, she didn't tell you because she didn't want you to know! … Not that she doesn't trust you, of course!"

Lance gave Arthur a very sympathetic look and pulled Gwen away, who was berating herself now, as far as Arthur could tell. He watched them get into their compartment, his fleeting anger at Leon (who was in his economics class for goodness' sake!) momentarily overwhelming the urge to never, ever leave the ground.

It wasn't until he and Merlin were seated that he actually realized he was on the freaking Ferris Wheel. He clenched his hands into fists. They'd be fine. How many hundreds of people rode this thing anyway?

Merlin grabbed his hand and looked over the side. Then he noticed Arthur's small (loud) whimpers as they reached the crest of the circle. "… Arthur? Are you okay?"

"Yeah," Arthur said, looking up instead of down. "Totally fine."

And then, because they were Arthur and Merlin and Merlin's luck seemed to have transferred itself to him, they abruptly stopped rotating and Arthur gripped the seat with both hands. "We're stuck, aren't we?" he asked.

Merlin looked over the side again, "Looks that way." Then he scooted closer to Arthur, "Are you seriously all right?"

Arthur bit his lip and shook his head, "I might, hypothetically but really not so much, have a potential, very small, irrational fear of heights."

And when their carriage gave a jerk forward, Arthur abandoned all pretenses of bravery and threw himself on top of Merlin, burying his face in his neck. "Tell me when it's over…" he said.

Merlin sighed sadly and petted his hair. "This was a bad idea, wasn't it?" And when he got no answer, "I wish I couldn't see Gwen and Lance making out below us… it just doesn't feel right."

-  
**2\. A hike sounds like a good idea, doesn't it?  
After all, it worked for Edward and Bella…**

 

"You are kidding, right?"

Merlin's response to, "Hey, come on, we're going on a hike!" was not encouraging.

"Why not?" Arthur whined. "I've already packed everything and … everything!"

He'd planned it all out – he and Merlin would go on a hike. And they would find a meadow. And, what are you talking about? He clearly did not get his inspiration from Stephenie Meyer's Twilight… pfft… Arthur didn't read stuff like that. It wasn't … manly enough… he coughed.

"Please?" he asked because he knew that whenever he asked in that tone, Merlin had difficulty saying no.

Merlin sighed, looking as though he was suffering. "Do we have to?"

Arthur pouted, "But I already packed a lunch and everything!"

Merlin sighed, looked at the coffee table where his psychology textbook was open with a pink highlighter sitting in the middle, and grabbed his jacket. "You know," he said conversationally, "one of these days I'll actually be busy doing something when you come up with these crazy ideas."

Arthur grinned.

There was no meadow. Arthur thought maybe he should have planned this out a little better. But he'd been reading and it occurred to him… Well, Merlin was a little bit like Bella, wasn't he? Clumsy and cute minus the female-ness? Because he was definitely male… Plus, Arthur was absolutely as awesome as Edward, right?

He quickly derailed those thoughts because right, he didn't read Twilight…

"We're lost, aren't we?" Merlin said, panting, coming up behind him.

"Um… not lost, no," Arthur answered. "I was looking… for something."

Merlin raised his eyebrows, his expression saying, I know exactly what you're thinking, Arthur.

Arthur quickly changed the subject. "Here's a good place to eat, yeah?"

It wasn't really. There was no place to sit, the ground twisted with the roots of trees. There was grass, though, Arthur thought, desperate for this to actually be a good date. They'd had so many bad ones lately.

In the end, when he opened his bag to get out the food he forced Lance to prepare that morning (Forced? Not so much – Lance was such a romantic, he'd told Arthur to pass it off as his own cooking. Arthur would have if he didn't know for sure that Merlin knew he was a crap cook). He'd found not the chicken Lance made but his Anthropology binder and textbook. Oh. Lovely.

Where was the chicken sitting? Most likely on the counter with all of the other food Arthur had meant to exchange for his schoolwork. Damn. Everyone knew you couldn't properly woo someone without chicken.

He sighed and looked at Merlin, who was leaning against the trunk of a tree. "So… if we're not lost, wanna just go back to your flat and have the picnic there?"

Arthur smiled a little because Merlin was Merlin and while he'd probably be mocked for this for the rest of his life, Merlin always seemed to make everything a little bit better.

Of course, Merlin ruined the moment when they were heading back. While he managed not to injure himself further (a broken nose already) he did manage to trip over one of those random tree roots and send Arthur sprawling down a hill. Ouch.

-

**1\. Take him out on The Best Date Ever. And then have it go horribly, horribly wrong.  
** Several times. Be sure to have him injure himself. And you.  
Maybe try something a little less strenuous next time?  
Also: don't let him know that you  
Keep a list of your  
Bad dates

Arthur felt like one big bruise from head to toe. This may have had to do with the fact that Merlin had sent him tumbling headfirst down a rather large hill the day previous.

And they didn't even get to have their picnic. Lance had worked really hard on that food…

Arthur sighed – maybe simplicity would work better?

And so he found himself dragging Merlin to the park on the next (rare) sunny day after their psychology lecture. "What are we doing?" Merlin asked.

And Arthur shrugged because he wasn't quite sure anymore. "Walking hand in hand on a bike path?" he answered.

Merlin rolled his eyes, "I wasn't aware we were playing Point Out The Obvious. The sky is blue, you know."

Arthur grinned; cheeky bugger. He didn't say anything, busy contemplating what he could do to make this date The Best Date Ever.

Merlin kept talking though, because he was like that. "You've inspired me, you know."

"Yeah?" Arthur asked, amused.

"Yep," Merlin answered. "Morgana will be thrilled."

"Will she?"

"Mmm."

The date was wonderful, even when it got really cloudy and rainy and they couldn't exactly make it back to the University Centre in time to save from being soaked to the skin.

In the end, what really ruined the day was Arthur's apparently insatiable curiosity.

 

-

**One Easy Way to Cheer a Sad Boyfriend Up  
** Tell him that, under no circumstances, will you ever, ever want someone else.  
Because, honestly  
You love him.

_Five Easy Ways to Almost Kill Your Boyfriend._

That was Merlin's theme this week. It wouldn't have been half so bad if Arthur hadn't been trying so very hard. Merlin came out of his bedroom wearing a fresh set of clothes.

And when he caught sight of Arthur with the paper, he grinned. It didn't last long though, when he saw Arthur's face. "Oh," he said. "You don't like it, then."

Arthur frowned, "If you didn't want to go on all the dates, you just could've told me."

Merlin looked a little confused, "But… they were all my fault. I was just… I thought you'd find it funny. The article, I mean."

Arthur shook his head, "I'm sorry that I fail so spectacularly at this."

Merlin sat down next to him. "But you don't!" he protested. "Well, okay, maybe the hike was a bit much but I'm the nervous klutz here. You were just… trying to find somewhere that I didn't fail."

Arthur leaned sideways, squishing Merlin into the side of the couch a bit, "It's not your fault you're uncoordinated. You're practically Bambi with the big eyes and the … you know, the flailing. I just wanted to be a good boyfriend."

Merlin rolled his eyes. "You are a giant prat, you know? You don't have to woo me," he said, carefully extricating his arms from under Arthur's back and bringing them up to wrap around Arthur's shoulders. "You already have me."

Arthur mumbled something inaudible into Merlin's shoulder.

"Yes," Merlin said in a long-suffering way, "I like you even more than I like Edward Cullen, are you happy now?"

Arthur lifted himself up and shook Merlin's hold off him and kissed him softly. When they broke apart and Arthur settled for squishing Merlin into the couch more thoroughly, Merlin mumbled almost as an afterthought,

"It is a shame you don't sparkle, though."

And Arthur grinned into the back of his neck – "If you don't shut up, Merlin, Morgana'll have to name your article Five Easy Ways to Actually Kill Your Boyfriend."

Merlin just laughed.


	3. Worst Five Ways to Woo a Potential Girlfriend

Worst Five Ways to Woo a Potential Girlfriend  
By Merlin Emrys  
(Printed without editor Morgana’s permission, as she is currently in the broom cupboard snogging with— )

**5\. Category: Cheesy  
They really just make you wince, don’t they?**

 

This is how it starts:

“Hey,” and he sat down beside her.

Morgana sighed, glancing around for Gwen (who abandoned her, thank you very much!). She spotted her, sitting in a dark corner with Lance, her new boyfriend (not cool because now Morgana was alone being single and there was nothing worse than that).

It’s not that she wasn’t happy for Gwen, because she really was and Lance was lovely, but she wished that there was some halfway decent boy who wanted her.

“What’s your sign?” was the question that brought her back to the present problem.

She turned to him, finally, to see a kid who was clearly in high school (and therefore shouldn’t have been in a bar at all, the responsible side of her pointed out). 

“Don’t you think I’m a bit old for you?” she asked saucily, thinking that even if she weren’t that she’d never go out with someone who tried to pick her up by using the line, What’s your sign?

-

This is why she didn’t go out anymore, she thought, picking up her drink and making her way back to the group. Lance and Gwen were kissing and it was disgusting. Morgana hated PDA. Really, like a lot. 

Thankfully her stepbrother and Merlin were restraining themselves, which was nice. She could see them holding hands under the table but no one would have been able to tell if they hadn’t been looking for it. She sighed. Some of Arthur’s friends were with them as well – friends from sports, she thought, not entirely sure. 

One of them, Pellinor (who worked at Arthur’s favourite restaurant on the side, she realized), slid into the seat next to her, arm brushing hers.   
“Have we met before?” he asked, a smile tugging at his lips.

Morgana tried to smile back. “I don’t think so.”

“Are you sure?” Pellinor asked. “Didn’t I see you last night?”

“Ew,” and Morgana said that out loud.

That’s when she got up and left.

-

She was waiting for the bus angrily, tapping her foot impatiently and shivering. It wasn’t as though she had dressed for standing outside for crying out loud!

“…Are you all right?” a voice from beside her said.

Morgana jumped and then, embarrassed, she wheeled around. “No, I am not all right,” she answered fiercely, taking a step toward the man.  
He looked a little shocked. “I am not all right because men-“ and she punctuated this word by jabbing him in the chest with a manicured finger, “are pigs who don’t know how to behave themselves when there’s a pretty girl present! Let me guess – If I could rearrange the alphabet I’d put U and I together? Is that what you were going to say?”

“Uhm…?”

“I wish you lot would just leave me alone.” She was menacing, stomping away to the next bus stop, high heels clicking against the pavement angrily.

 

**4\. Category: Flattery  
It will get you nowhere.**

 

“Where’s my article, Merlin?” Morgana asked the next day as he walked into her office. It was late… again. 

“I’m… working on it?”

She rolled her eyes. “You do know,” she said, “that you are not, in fact, the only person to write listicles, right? I can… find someone else?”

Merlin bit his lip, presumably attempting not to smile. The idiot knew she’d never actually fire him. “I have a topic, at least.”

“Is it…. Five Good Ways to Meet a Deadline?” Morgana asked sarcastically, smiling at Gwen as she pulled up a seat at the table and unwrapped her lunch. She slid Morgana an energy drink the length of the table and Merlin eyed it warily when she popped the tab open.

“No,” Merlin sighed. “It’s Five Easy Ways to Almost Kill Your Boyfriend,” he admitted and Morgana smirked. 

“I don’t want to know,” she said and then asked in spite of herself, “Does it have to do with the unfortunate bruising around your eyes?”

Merlin glared at her, rolling his eyes. “I took a football to the face,” he confessed.

Morgana just smiled at him.

-

Contrary to popular belief, Morgana did actually go to her classes. She particularly enjoyed Economics – don’t even ask why because she couldn’t tell you. She only took it because Uther ‘strongly suggested it’ (read: ‘Take it. Do you think you have a choice?’), and while she wasn’t Uther’s actual daughter, she was close enough.

This was how she ended up with Arthur beside her, generally being annoying while she was attempting to take notes. “What are you doing?” she asked, the continual movement of Arthur’s hands driving her insane.

She looked over from her notes. He was folding origami paper cranes out of scrap pieces of paper that looked like they contained important class notes. “Are you insane?” she hissed.

Arthur glared at her. “No, this class is just really boring,” he answered honestly.

Morgana wanted to introduce her forehead to the desk but refrained – it would have been loud. “Why,” she muttered to herself, “are all men …” She trailed off because the only adjective she could think of was ‘insane’ and she didn’t like repeating herself. 

“Are you worried about his grade?” the person beside her asked. 

Morgana would never in a million years let him know that it scared her half to death. She didn’t jump. “No,” she said bitterly, “he’s doing better in this class than I am.”

“Ah,” the stranger said. “I’m Leon, by the way.”

Morgana stared at him, thinking she’d probably missed several important points already and should probably go back to listening. “… Right. Listen, do I know you?”

“You … uh, we met last week? You were waiting for the bus and attempted to tell me all men are, erm, I believe the word you used was pigs.”

Morgana blinked. “Oh yeah,” she said finally, turning back to her sheet and casting a dark look Arthur’s way. He had apparently moved on to making a cootie catcher. People in their lecture row were starting to stare. “I’m Morgana,” she said absently. “You don’t happen to know what the professor’s been talking about for the last ten minutes, do you?”

-

She was walking by the cafeteria with Gwen when she heard it.

Someone shouted, “If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put U and I together!”

Morgana knew it was directed toward her only because the boy she passed attempted to grab her arm with a playful smirk sliding across his face. Morgana smiled at him. 

“You’re disgusting,” she said pleasantly, yanking her arm out of his grip, holding her head high, and walking away.  
Gwen jogged to catch up. 

“How come this stuff doesn’t ever happen to you?” she asked.

Gwen shrugged, “Ever since I started dating Lance, no one’s bothered me.”

Morgana hated Lance. 

 

**3\. Category: Innuendo  
Implications don’t work, either**

 

It started like this: 

“There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can't take them off you.”

Morgana looked up from her laptop and frowned sternly at him. “Merlin, I will kill you, I swear,” she said. And then, “Gwen told you, didn’t she?”  
Merlin dissolved into giggles (and Morgana liked to avoid using that word but there was really no other way to describe it) and a grin slid across his face. “Or how about, my lips hurt, can you kiss them better?”

“Merlin,” Morgana warned, “You’re not funny. And also not convincing with a broken nose.”

He frowned. “It’s still healing!” he said petulantly. 

“Just get me your article and get out of my office.”

-

“Um, hi. Again. Because, you know, we met in Economics?”

Morgana stared at him. “Are you… all right?” she asked.

Leon shrugged, “I’m okay,” and sat down at the table where Morgana was attempting to eat her salad. She looked around for an escape route – Gwen, Merlin, Arthur – anyone at this point. Why couldn’t the world just accept that she was okay with being single, damn it?

“Are you okay?” Leon asked, hand coming up to scratch his cheek. “Because you just slammed your fist down on the table…”

Morgana looked down and purposely unclenched her fist. She cleared her throat, “How are you?”

Leon smiled. “Fine. Just, um – wondering if you could help me with my Essay. I know you do the whole editing thing for the newspaper…”  
Morgana looked up. He wasn’t bad looking, she decided. Then she was promptly horrified with herself. 

She sighed, “What’s it on?”

He dug through his backpack and brought out a huge binder. Morgana bit her lip, wondering if she was going to end up regretting this.

-

When she finally walked into her cramped little office an hour later, she found Merlin and Gwen sitting at the centre table, huddled together and whispering. They were laughing. Morgana was instantly suspicious. She dropped her bag loudly.

They straightened right away, trying to keep their faces blank.

“Oh, hi, Morgana!” Gwen said preppily. “How was your- um, your date?”

She actually felt her face slide into something that must’ve resembled confusion. “What are you talking about?”

“Nothing!” Merlin said right away, scraping his chair back. “Um, I have to meet Arthur. I’ll… be back later.”

She watched him go and then turned back to Gwen. “Is there something I should know?”

Gwen shook her head, playing cute. “Nope. Just, um, Merlin and I are just planning a little project thing, that’s all.”

“… Right.” Morgana answered. “Is he almost done the article? Because the paper comes out next week and…”

-

**2\. Category: Are you trying to be cute?  
It’s not working.**

 

Morgana was surprised, walking out of the library feeling like she enjoyed herself. Who enjoys themselves tutoring, anyway?

“Wait!” 

Morgana turned. Leon was jogging up to her, a pen in his hand. “I think you dropped this,” he said, pressing it into her hand.

Morgana clenched her teeth – I think you dropped this? – that was the best he could do? “Thanks,” she said coldly, turning abruptly and making her way down toward the busses.

-

She was pathetic. That was basically the story of her life. 

She debated calling Gwen but then she’d have to divulge exactly how pathetic she was (read: sitting alone in her living room, wearing her pyjamas, watching Strictly Come Dancing, and eating a very large tub of ice cream).

-

**1\. Category: Desperation  
Sad, pathetic - almost... but not.**

 

This is how it started:

“Are you wearing space pants because—“

Morgana punched him in the face.

-

“Father’s very disappointed in you,” Arthur said, handing her an ice pack.

Morgana grumbled, resting it over her knuckles. “It’s not my fault all men are disgusting.”

“Yes, well,” Arthur said, tugging Merlin to sit down next to him – whenever he happened to be visiting Uther with Arthur, he always acted like there was something waiting to jump out from behind every corner and come at him with a knife. “It kind of surprised me that you went to the bar alone. What were you thinking? You couldn’t have at least brought Gwen, even if you weren’t going to bring Leon.”

Morgana stared at him, noticing the way that Merlin’s eyes widened and he seemed to have a spontaneous coughing fit. Ah, everything seemed to click into place suddenly. Well, two could play at that game.

“Contrary to whatever you believe,” she said unfeelingly, “I am, in fact, not a little girl and can take care of myself.”

“I can see that,” Arthur sighed like she was the insane one.

-

_Category: Sweet_  
This is how you fix things.   
**Don’t** use stupid pick-up lines.  
 **Don’t** take advice from your friends.  
And don’t think too much of yourself. 

 

Morgana wasn’t desperate. She didn’t want a boyfriend that badly. There was nothing wrong with being single. She was a strong, independent woman who didn’t need a man. … but that didn’t necessarily mean she didn’t want one.

And because she was a horrible person who wanted to both have a boyfriend who she actually enjoyed and make Arthur angry at the same time, she found herself not calling Merlin and Gwen out.

Of course they were both horrible, filthy liars but that was a matter to be dealt with at another time. 

“You owe me,” she paused for dramatic effect, “a Five Ways article,” she said the next time Merlin showed up in her office.

Merlin smirked and really he had no business doing his stupid Merlin-smirk when he had apparently lied to Arthur about who Morgana was dating and then teamed up with Gwen to have her actually date him.

“I might have two for you,” Merlin answered and then his smirk softened a little bit into a smile. “Not sure if the last Five Ways works though. We’ll have to wait and see.”

-

Her pride was a little bit at war with how sweet her friends actually were, of course. She decided, because Morgana was an amazingly wonderful person, of course, that she wouldn’t seek Leon out. She’d just wait until the next Economics class.

She sat down in her usual seat beside him, purposely ignoring Arthur (who was proceeding to ignore everything the prof had to say and drawing what looked like a cartoon picture of himself in a knight’s costume). 

And she turned to Leon, smirking. He looked at her hesitantly.

“So,” Morgana said, leaning forward slightly, “you like me, yeah?”

“Er –“

And she grabbed his shirt, pulled him forward and kissed him.

(“And for future reference,” Morgana said when they pulled apart, “No pick-up lines, please.”   
Leon laughed – “It wasn’t a pick up line!” he said. “You actually dropped your pen.”   
Morgana blushed a little. “Oh.”)

**Author's Note:**

> you can find me [here](mini-hugs.tumblr.com) on tumblr!


End file.
